We have reached the point where no one truly knows how long we’ve been in quarantine. And with everything being shut down due to the outbreak of COVID-19(including Hollywood), celebrities are also housebound.
We’ve seen Insta story after Insta story, but have you noticed how truly tragic celebs’ posts have been recently? From Jennifer Aniston to Kylie Jenner, it seems like everyone’s been suffering this quarantine.
Poor David Geffen is isolated on his super yacht.
Looks like it’s a solo party, which is very sad.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is helplessly lounging in his hot tub.
Yes, this is what us regular folks needed to see in order to stay home.
Jessica Chastain is… spying on the internet?
What an insane video to produce. I think Jessica Chastain might be losing it a little.
And speaking of losing it, how’s Dame Judi Dench doing?
You know in The Wonder Years how Kevin Arnold fakes a sore throat to stay home from school since the human throat is always a little red, and his mom realizes that maybe one day she should look at it when he’s healthy for comparison?
I’m starting to wonder if I should look at celebrities’ Instagrams when we’re not under quarantine. For comparison.
Madonna wrote a new song, sort of.
Not sure if fried fish is a quarantine meme, but wouldn’t toilet paper have worked better as a subject for a Weird Al-like parody version of your own song?
Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa, is cuttin’ real loose.
There will never be anything funnier than someone giving recipe instructions for a cocktail like “two cups of vodka” and pouring in, like, four gallons.
Dr. Phil has provided us with the best catchphrase of the quarantine.
Man, I can’t wait for sports to come back so I can go chant “BIG KNIFE SMALL WIFE” with a crowd.
One side of crowd: “WE GOT BIG KNIFE YES WE DO, WE GOT BIG KNIFE HOW BOUT YOU.”
The other side: “WE GOT SMALL WIFE YES WE DO, WE GOT SMALL WIFE HOW BOUT YOU”
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend know how to handle this whole thing.
The only thing that would make this better is if Chrissy said, “I’m just going to add 1/3 a cup of wine” before she started pouring.
At least Mathew McConaughey has stayed consistent in these troubling times.
Shawn Mendes has some positive words for everyone.
Hey thanks for the good wishes bud! Now let me live in your garden.
Jim Carrey misses the days before he had a quarantine beard.
(No one tell him that he can stop having a quarantine beard at literally any moment.)
Mariah Carey is keeping up that fitness grind
It’s so great you’re not ignoring your workouts, Mariah. Now let me live in your gym
The face of celebrities who are too sad for their circumstances, Sam Smith posted and then deleted this little triptych that made the entire internet pull out their tiny violins.
Man, I just do not know what to do with Jared Leto.
If you asked me what Jared Leto would get up to in quarantine, I don’t know what I would’ve said (maybe he’d send dead rats to himself instead of his coworkers?). But making and selling shirts featuring bad Star Wars references? That wouldn’t have ever popped into my mind.
Alicia Keys sends a message from a beautiful, if unfamiliar, space.
Where is Alicia Keys? Some kind of Christmas garden? I guess that’s what we’ll call it.
Anyhow, let me live in your Christmas garden.
Here’s soccer star Cesc Fabrega trying to give all of us peasants a laugh from his outdoor balcony overlooking the city.
At least he’s trying to bring some comedy into all of this.